Gift-giving comes with unwritten rules that vary by culture, family, and situation. Here are answers to common questions that many people wonder about but rarely ask out loud.
How much should I spend on a gift?
This varies by location, relationship, and your budget, but here are general Australian guidelines:
- Classmates/school friends: $15-25
- Close friends: $25-40
- Extended family (cousins, nieces/nephews): $30-50
- Close family (grandchildren, godchildren): $50-100+
- Your own child: Whatever feels right for your family
Remember: thoughtfulness matters more than price. A well-chosen $20 gift beats a generic $50 one every time.
Should I tell people what my child wants?
Absolutely! Most gift-givers genuinely want to give something the child will love. If someone asks, share specific ideas with price ranges to make their life easier. For parties, consider including a note on the invitation like “Gift ideas: LEGO, art supplies, books” or “No gifts necessary, but if you’d like to bring something, [child’s name] loves dinosaurs and building toys.” This prevents duplicate gifts and reduces waste.
Should I buy shared gifts for twins or siblings?
It depends on the relationship and the gift. For twins or siblings very close in age celebrating together, one larger shared gift (like a board game, outdoor equipment, or experience) can work well—but only if it’s genuinely something they’ll both enjoy and can use together without conflict. However, each child still deserves to feel individually recognized on their birthday. If you’re close to the family, consider giving each child their own gift, even if one is smaller. For acquaintances or budget constraints, a shared gift is perfectly acceptable, but acknowledge both children: “This is for both of you to enjoy together!” Avoid giving identical gifts to twins unless requested—they’re individuals with different preferences.
What gifts should I avoid?
Some gifts create more problems than joy. Consider avoiding:
Messy without easy cleanup:
- Slime (stains fabric and carpets, ruins electronics)
- Kinetic/magic sand (gets everywhere, hard to vacuum)
- Glitter or confetti-based items (the gift that keeps on giving… to vacuum cleaners)
- Water-based toys for indoor use (water beads, mini water tables, anything encouraging water play inside—spills are inevitable and can damage flooring, electronics, and create slip hazards)
Impractical for the household:
- Toys requiring multiple players for an only child
- Toys requiring constant parental involvement (busy parents may struggle)
- Items needing ongoing subscriptions, batteries, or costly supplies
- Toys with specialized batteries (CR2032, odd sizes) that aren’t easy to replace
Safety and quality concerns:
- Items from retailers not meeting Australian safety standards (Temu, Shein, unregulated online sellers)
- USB-powered items from unknown manufacturers (fire risk)
- Toys with toxic paints, strong chemical smells, or unlabeled materials
- Products without clear age recommendations or safety certifications
Potentially awkward:
- Religious items for families whose beliefs you’re unsure about
- Pets or live animals (unless explicitly requested by parents)
- Loud or annoying toys (unless you enjoy retribution)
- Clothing without gift receipts (sizes are tricky)
- Highly gendered toys if you don’t know the child’s preferences
Should I wrap gifts, or is a gift bag okay?
Both are fine! Wrapping adds excitement for the unwrapping moment, but gift bags are practical and reusable. For young children who love tearing paper, wrapping is part of the fun. For older kids or practical families, a nice gift bag works beautifully. Skip excessive plastic wrap, ribbons, and packaging where possible—it’s better for the planet and easier for families to manage.
Should gifts be opened in front of guests?
This varies by family preference and party style.
Opening gifts at the party:
- Pros: The gift-giver sees the child’s reaction, the birthday child practices graciousness, and it’s a traditional party moment
- Cons: Takes time (can derail party momentum), risk of duplicate reactions or awkward comparisons, young children may get overwhelmed or fixate on one gift
Opening gifts later:
- Pros: Keeps the party moving, reduces pressure on the birthday child, allows for genuine reactions without an audience, easier for parents to track who gave what for thank-you notes
- Cons: Gift-givers don’t see the reaction, feels less traditional to some
Many families now open gifts after guests leave and send photo thank-yous instead. If you’re hosting, do what works for your family—there’s no wrong answer. If you’re attending, follow the host’s lead and don’t feel offended if gifts aren’t opened in the moment.
Is a gift tag okay instead of a card?
Absolutely! A simple gift tag is perfectly acceptable, especially for children’s parties where cards often get lost in the chaos or glanced at briefly then set aside. Save fuller cards for milestone birthdays (1st, 13th, 16th, 18th), very close family, or when you want to write a longer personal message. Many people appreciate gift tags as more environmentally friendly and practical than cards that get read once and recycled. Just make sure it’s clear who the gift is from!
Should I include a gift receipt with the gift?
Generally, yes—especially for clothing, books, or items where personal preference matters. A discreet gift receipt (not showing the price) gives the recipient freedom to exchange without awkwardness. If you’re giving something highly personal or handmade, a receipt isn’t necessary. Some people tuck the receipt inside a card or envelope rather than the gift bag itself to keep it subtle.
Should I give a gift if I RSVP’d yes but couldn’t attend?
It’s thoughtful but not strictly required. If it’s a close friend or family member, sending a gift (even if late) acknowledges the relationship and the missed celebration. For classmates or acquaintances, a belated card or small gesture is kind but optional. If you RSVP’d no from the start, a gift isn’t expected unless it’s a very close relationship.
Should I ask for a gift receipt if something is unsuitable?
It’s perfectly reasonable to politely ask, especially if the item doesn’t fit, is a duplicate, or won’t work for your child (allergies, age-inappropriateness, etc.). A simple “Thank you so much for the thoughtful gift! Do you happen to have the receipt in case we need to exchange sizes?” is gracious and practical. Most gift-givers would rather you exchange than let the item go unused.
Is regifting okay?
Yes, with caveats. Regifting is practical and reduces waste, but be thoughtful: only regift items that are new or like-new, appropriate for the recipient, and unlikely to circle back to the original giver. Remove any personalizations or cards from the original gift. Regifting within families or close friend groups requires more caution than regifting to acquaintances. If someone asks, be honest—most people appreciate the sustainability angle.
What if my child receives a gift they already have?
Thank the giver sincerely (duplicates happen!), then quietly exchange or donate the extra. Don’t mention the duplicate to the gift-giver unless they specifically ask how the child liked it, and even then, be kind: “They loved it so much we exchanged it for the next book in the series!” Most people understand.
What if someone gives my child an inappropriate gift?
Thank them graciously in the moment, then handle it privately. If it’s a safety issue, quietly donate or return it. If it’s a values mismatch (violent toys, gendered items you’d prefer to avoid), you can choose to keep it, exchange it, or donate it—whatever aligns with your family. Most gift-givers won’t know unless you tell them, and it’s usually kinder not to.
Should children write thank-you notes?
It’s a lovely practice that teaches gratitude, but do what works for your family. Handwritten notes are traditional but not always realistic. Alternatives include:
- A photo of the child with the gift sent via text or email
- A quick video message
- A phone call where the child says thank you
- For very young children, parents can send a note on their behalf
The key is acknowledging the gift in some way, not the format.
What if I’m on a tight budget?
Thoughtful gifts don’t require big budgets:
- Books: Second-hand bookshops have excellent children’s books for $5-10
- Craft supplies: A nice sketchbook and quality pencils or a craft kit
- Experience gifts: A voucher for ice cream, the park, or a movie together
- Homemade gifts: Baked goods, hand-sewn items, or personalized creations
- Group gifts: Team up with others for one bigger item
The best gifts show you know the child—a $10 book about their obsession beats a $30 generic toy every time.
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